“If you want to find out what the future of the Republican Party is if Hillary Clinton wins, take a look at California.” – Rush Limbaugh
“El Salvador has the scenery of Northern California and the climate of southern California plus – and this was a relief – no Californians.” – P.J. O’Rourke
“Myths that need clarification: “Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach.” False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.” – Erma Bombeck
“The idea of a Chicago band that wanted to sing songs about California are really funny. Having never been to California.” – Bill Hader
“I love California, practically grow up in Phoenix.” – Dan Quayle
“California is an Italy without its art.” – Oscar Wilde
“Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn’t wait to get an envelope full of white powder.” – Jay leno
“California officials want to contain a measles outbreak that originated in Disneyland last month. They are in luck because everyone who is exposed to it is still in line at Space Mountain.” – Conan O’Brien
“You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say it’s a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.” – Scott Adams
“California can and does furnish the best bad things that are obtainable in America.” – Hinton Rowan Helper
“In California we froze properly taxes, school sizes increased, test scores declined, and there was a massive middle-class white flight to private schools. We’re turning into Victorian England at a very rapid rate.” – Robert Hass
“She goes to Frederick’s of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an appliance warranty through it in an unlit closet.” – Dave Barry
“Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was nearly knocked out and might have been even more seriously hurt but my fall was broken by the smog.” – Jack Paar
“Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publicans read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca.” – Jack Paar
“I was never a pipe or bong man. That’s California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.” – George Carlin
“California is no longer a State, it’s a hedge fund.” – Craig T. Nelson
“The attraction and superiority of California are in its days. It has better days & more of them, than the other country.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“In the Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.” – Allan Sherman
“Avicenna California…Museum of my twisted youth, vault of my dearest and most disgusting memories.” – Peter S. Beagle
“Much like tobacco companies want to keep smokers dependent on their deadly product, the oil industry wants to keep California dependent to oil – an expensive, dirty and limited resource that damage health.” – William Barrett
“In los Angeles all the loose objects in the country are collected, as if America had been tilted and everything that wasn’t tightly screwed down had slid into Southern California.” – Saul Bellow
“Welcome to Anaheim, California, my fellow broken-down, washed-up wrestler.” – Mick Foley
“In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiles at once, they would give us a headache.” – Garrison Keillor
“I do California casual a little bit better than really small European cut, tight apparel but I can rock some Gucci when I need to. I say this as I’m wearing adidas sweatpants and a ten-year-old chrome hearts T-shirt.” – Carson Daly
“We’re looking forward to a great season at the University of California – if we find a way to put cleats on their sandals.” – Ronald Reagan
“The increase in inequality in income is a longtime trend, but the pressure on middle – and low -income workers is going up rapidly. Especially if they live in an area where there a high housing and gas prices, like California.” – Alice Rivlin
“You haven’t lived until you’ve died in California.” – Mort Sahl
“We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.” – Red Skelton
“I left Chicago many years ago to move to California. You can’t help but live a healthy lifestyle here if you want to fit in. I find myself eating chicken and salad and chicken and salad and salad and chicken, like a monk.” – James Belushi
“If you’ve had good gin on a hot day in Southern California with people you love, you forget Nebraska. The two things cannot coexist. The stronger, better of the two wins.” – Ann Patchett
“Disneyland remains the central attraction of Southern California, but the graveyard remains our reality.” – Charles Bukowski
“California is like a beautiful wild kid on heroin, high as a kite and thinking she’s on top of the world, not believing it even if you show her the marks.” – S.E. Hinton
“They write songs about California girls for a reason.” – Sarah Mlynowski
“In Bakersfield, California, a Mexican strawberry picker with an income of $14,000 and no English was lent every penny he needed to buy a house for $724,000.” – Michael Lewis
“The girls in California were probably prettier in a standard sense than the New York girls—blonder and in a better health, I guess; but I preferred the way the girls in New York looked—stranger and more neurotic (a girl always looked more beautiful and fragile when she was about to have a nervous breakdown).” – Andy Warhol
